


Different

by parttimehuman



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: A lot of touching of naked bodies, Alternate Canon, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bathing/Washing, Blow Jobs, Come Swallowing, First Time, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rimming, Smut, Undressing, i don't wanna say porn without plot but it totally is about sex, more filth to be added, smutty softness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:48:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23198836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parttimehuman/pseuds/parttimehuman
Summary: When Laurent tells Damen to fuck him, Damen says no.There's a fear inside Laurent that needs to be defeated first, slowly, with countless kisses and worshipping touches, with all the love Damen has to give.The next time Laurent asks, he will pose the question differently, and Damen won't say no...
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Comments: 117
Kudos: 294
Collections: Medium Length Works to Read





	1. Of Words and Stronger Languages

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Captive Prince Fandom! Please accept my humble offering.

“No.”

Damen had known it wouldn’t be an easy thing to say. If he was being honest with himself, he hadn’t even been sure he’d be able to say it at all. But it was necessary, and he knew that as well. Still, he hadn’t been prepared for the look on Laurent’s face. Here was the face the prince wore like a mask, a perfect façade that never faltered. With a single syllable, he’d broken it. 

_ “No?”, _ Laurent echoed, except that his voice was infinitely more quiet, as if he was making use only of the air in his lungs and not his vocal cords. 

“Hear me out before you have me flogged again, please,” Damen said. It was half a joke and half the most desperate plea he’d made in his life, unsure whether it was of any use. Laurent was frozen to the spot, physically still directly on top of Damen, his body weight pressing down on Damen’s thighs, but a different kind of distance was spreading between them. 

Damen understood. Laurent was straddling him now because he’d come barging into the room, pushing Damen backwards and on top of the bed, climbing on top of him, wanting, chasing something much different from blood and vengeance. He’d been hard and soft at the same time, hands purposeful and demanding but the rest of him so tense he’d almost been shaking. 

He’d asked Damen what they both knew Laurent hadn’t asked another man before, and hadn’t ever wanted to.  _ Fuck me. _ With a highly out-of-character vulnerability in his eyes he’d said it, already bending his body, offering himself. Damen had made him sit back up. And then he’d told him no. 

The flogging, he was thinking now, would have been the less painful alternative. Sometimes the cruelty that lived inside Laurent was easier to handle than his silence. Damen had worked long enough on slowly, lovingly cracking him open, had moved in the most infinitesimal of increments and succeeded in the smallest of ways. The result was fragile to say the least.

He reached out to touch Laurent’s chin with one finger, a helpless attempt to make Laurent listen. “It’s not going to be that way between us, Laurent,” he told him, speaking softly, knowing Laurent’s name wasn’t his to taste. He could tell that Laurent didn’t understand. 

His eyes fixed on the space right next to Damen’s face, Laurent responded carefully, “I assumed this was what you’ve wanted all this time. To fuck me. Is it not?”

“I…” Damen sighed. “It is. But it’s not that simple.” 

“I’m here,” said Laurent. Anger slowly replaced the shock in his features, but as always, he tried to look as controlled as possible. He was regretting having let his guard down, Damen knew it. “If that isn’t simple enough for you, I don’t know what to do.” 

The problem was, Damen didn’t know how to explain it with words. Like Laurent, he was attentive, he saw and heard, took note of small details other people tended to miss, but unlike Laurent, he lacked the talent of using words in exactly the right way to achieve what he wanted. 

He’d heard Laurent’s breath hitching, his voice wavering, just a little. He’d seen flickers of uncertainty in his eyes, had felt the muscles beneath Laurent’s skin straining slightly too much in the wrong moments. He knew there was something,  _ something _ beneath the perfection of Laurent’s exterior, something that wasn’t quite so smooth and straight and concealed, something with edges that could hurt. 

And if there was one thing Damen had had enough of, it was people getting hurt. Above all, it was Laurent getting hurt. 

“I want it to be different,” Damen heard himself say. Different from what exactly he couldn’t put into words, he was simply hoping that Laurent would understand. More quietly, he added, “I want to give you something, not take anything away. I think that’s the best way I know to describe it.” 

Laurent parted his lips. It was a curious thing to watch him searching for words and not finding them, closing his mouth again and looking lost as he climbed from Damen’s lap and sat on the bed awkwardly. He looked young and innocent. Damen knew he looked that way because he chose not to disguise it and was thankful for it. 

“Different,” Laurent finally said, trying the word out on his tongue as if he was testing its worth before accepting it into his vocabulary although Damen had spoken to him in Veretian as always. 

“What does that mean?” Laurent wanted to know. 

Damen raised a hand and let it run through the thick curls on the top of his head, a gesture that had always betrayed him in moments of uncertainty. “I’m no good at explaining things. Can I show you instead?” 

Laurent raised one thin, blond eyebrow. “Show me?” 

Damen nodded slowly, pushing himself up to his knees and crawling towards Laurent. When they were face to face, he kneeled, waiting a few seconds before he reached out, holding Laurent’s face between his hands. He took in the contrast of their skin tones, Laurent’s almost as white as the silk on the bed, Damen’s the bronze that was typical in Akielos. His hands seemed bigger now that they were cupping Laurent’s cheeks, and he was aware of the roughness of his own skin, the calloused palms and countless little scars. Technically, he was Laurent’s slave, but he held a power now that he hadn’t thought would ever be his even when he was a prince and the heir to the Akielon throne. 

“You hate to be scared, don’t you?” Damen whispered. He could feel he was close to a piece of truth as he was looking deep into Laurent’s eyes, but it was either the kind of truth Laurent wasn’t willing to share with anyone, or the kind Laurent wasn’t ready to admit to himself. 

“Everybody hates to be scared,” Laurent replied, “it’s called survival instinct.” 

“Not to you,” Damen said, his thumbs caressing Laurent’s face. “To you it’s something else. I won’t have you scared in my arms. I won’t have you scared when you’re with me, no matter the way in which we are together.” 

Laurent’s eyes fluttered half-shut. He wrapped his fingers around Damen’s forearms, moving neither back nor forth, neither away nor closer. Damen leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his upper lip, one that was more a brushing of lips than a proper kiss. He felt Laurent exhaling and moved closer, shutting his eyes and pressing their foreheads together. 

“I will not say no,” Damen said, “the next time you ask me. But you will ask the question differently, and you will wait until you’re certain there is no fear left in you.” 

Ever so slowly, Laurent’s hands moved along Damen’s forearms, following the curves of his bent arms and up to his shoulders. They weighed nothing at first, the touches light as feathers, but eventually he allowed his hands to rest flatly on top of Damen before they wandered around his neck. 

“I think you’re the first one,” Laurent whispered. 

“You  _ think?”  _ Damen asked, half jokingly. 

“To have rendered me speechless,” Laurent added, a small smile audible in his voice, “for a moment.” 

“Don’t worry,” Damen replied, “I’m sure it won’t be for long.” 

The air tasted different after the exchange. Damen wasn’t sure that it was all cleared but for the moment, there was nothing else to say. Nothing too serious, anyway. Instead of coming up with more words, Damen decided it was time to let his body speak for him, so he angled Laurent’s face up and leaned down to kiss him, properly this time. 

Laurent needed a second until he was kissing back, which was a thing Damen had noticed before. Most people he’d kissed in his life had been eager, reciprocating immediately, but with Laurent there was always a brief moment when he allowed himself to just be kissed. 

When Laurent pulled back, Damen was afraid he had found some reason to distrust him after all, some spark of doubt that things even could be different. But instead of distancing himself, Laurent came closer, arms wrapping around Damen’s neck until they were chest to chest, too close to look each other in the eyes, Laurent clinging to him, face against Damen’s neck. He let himself exhale and closed his arms behind Laurent’s back, pressing him against his body, because this,  _ this _ was who he wanted to be to Laurent, the shoulder to lean on, the arms holding him tight, warmth and protection, a safe haven in a cruel world. He’d known for a long time that this was what he wanted, just not if Laurent would allow himself to want it the same. 

Slowly, carefully, after maybe a minute of the two of them silently holding each other, Damen let himself fall backwards, arms tightening around Laurent’s waist so that he would be pulled down on top of him. It felt amazing to have Laurent’s body weighing him down into the mattress and his breath coming in warm puffs against Damen’s skin. He let his hands roam Laurent’s back, moving up and down and across his shoulders with soft pressure of his palms, rubbing the tension out of one little muscle at the time. Eventually, Laurent was warm and pliant on top of him, fingers lazily trailing along Damen’s collarbone. 

“You’re a beautiful man, Damen,” Laurent said in a voice unlike anything Damen had ever heard from him. There was no purpose behind those words, only sincerity. 

Damen had to smile. He almost would have laughed out loud because of the sheer ridiculousness of his situation, lying in bed with Laurent, Prince of Vere, the most beautiful human he’d ever been blessed enough to lay eyes on, Laurent with his flawless, creamy skin and silky blond hair and delicate features, Laurent who carried a piece of the sky in his eyes and an invisible crown on his head. Yet it was the same Laurent who was calling him, Damen, beautiful. The future was uncertain at best, but Damen knew for a fact that in a hundred years of a life, in a thousand kingdoms, among millions of men and women, he would never find even a remote semblance of the feeling in his heart at the moment. 

He spread the fingers of one hand over the small of Laurent’s back and raised the other one to take one of Laurent’s hands, lifting it to his lips so he could draw them along every single finger and kiss every knuckle, covering the back of the hand in kisses first before turning it around and breathing into its palm, leaving more kisses, a gesture that felt more intimate than any of the things he’d done to a body before. When he’d made his way to the inside of Laurent’s wrist where blue veins were visible through the light skin, he kissed the spot where Laurent’s pulse lay underneath, the life most precious to him throbbing against his lips. A shudder went through Laurent. 

“I’m not sure what you’re doing to me right now is what you  _ wanted _ to do to me,” Laurent murmured, face hidden in the crook of Damen’s neck. 

Damen opened his eyes and looked down, but of course he didn’t need visual confirmation of the growing hardness against his stomach. It was a wonderful thing to witness the effects he could have on Laurent, and the heat of Laurent’s flushed cheeks might have been even more precious in that regard than the swelling of his cock. Damen had sworn to himself that he would take things slow, as slowly as humanly possible, but that didn’t mean he was able to resist Laurent. 

“Laurent,” he whispered, “do I have permission to take your clothes off?” 

Laurent’s breath caught in his throat and then he nodded, but Damen couldn’t allow it to be like this: with Laurent’s face hiding against his skin. He let go of Laurent’s hand and cupped his cheek instead, searching for his gaze until he had it. “Tell me yes,” he said, “a real yes. Tell me what you want me to do.” 

Laurent stared back at him, a light pink sprinkled over his face and neck. “Undress me.” 

They sat up, Laurent in Damen’s lap, legs wrapped around his middle, which made the touch of their clothed cocks delicious and dangerous, but Damen would take care of that later. First, he tugged at the hem of Laurent’s shirt, letting his hands slip beneath it stroke the bare skin of Laurent’s back and sides. Up and down he went with the same tenderness with which he kissed both sides of Laurent’s neck. There was nothing he wanted more than the pretense that they had all the time in the world. 

Of course, Damen wasn’t simply undressing Laurent. With the Veretian jacket and all its laces and complications already gone, he could have discarded the thin shirt in a half second, but instead, Damen lifted the fabric and let it fall again, replaced it with his hands where it left Laurent’s skin, uncovered one inch of Laurent at a time to make sure it was all appreciated accordingly. 

Laurent lifted his arms for him when Damen was reaching the point where he was pulling the whole shirt off of him, throwing it to the side. Logically, the way Laurent looked underneath his clothes made a lot of sense. He was lean but strong, muscles straining everywhere beneath his skin. A fine layer of blond hair was covering his chest and a slightly thicker one formed a trail from his navel down, disappearing under the waistband of his pants. 

Damen kissed his way down Laurent’s throat and along his collarbone, then turned his head and pressed it against Laurent’s chest just to listen to the beating of his heart for a minute before he continued. He wanted to touch everywhere, wanted to put his lips everywhere, but especially on Laurent’s pink little nipples that hardened at every brush of a finger. When Damen put his mouth on one of them, Laurent’s control slipped and he rutted against Damen before he caught himself. From the outside, it must have looked like Laurent was barely affected, but his body told Damen the truth, and that was a different one. 

When Laurent’s hand found its way into Damen’s hair and pulled, Damen let go, leaning back just a little to watch the beautiful mess he’d turned Laurent into so far. The sight did something to his heart, and where all other things about Laurent were complicated, this was simple. It was addictive, and he wanted more. 

Damen put a hand behind Laurent’s back to steady him before he pushed himself up and gently put Laurent on his back with his legs still wrapped around Damen’s waist. Kissing Laurent’s lips, Damen forgot for a while what his intention behind the change in position had been, but when he remembered, he sat back and began unlacing Laurent’s boots, pulling them off and throwing them away, not carelessly, but with the thought that Laurent might as well stay in bed for the rest of time if it was up to him, and therefore wouldn’t need boots anymore. 

With Laurent’s legs spread at either side of his body, Damen let his hands move from the ankles up his calves and then his thighs, his movements becoming slower and slower the closer he got to Laurent’s middle. The pants weren’t doing much to hide Laurent’s arousal and Damen’s fingers itched to touch the bulge in them, but he willed them not to, rubbing them along the waistband instead, pulling open the laces at the front, leaving everything where it was for the moment.

Damen leaned down and kissed Laurent’s stomach, nuzzling the scattering of hair that had made his heart beat faster from the very first time he’d seen it. He’d dreamed about following it with his lips and tongue. Finally he had the chance to do so, and he mustered all the patience in him so he could drag it out and savor every second. When he reached the pants he went back up and started over, only tugging the fabric down with his teeth the second time he encountered it.

Laurent lifted his hips just enough so Damen could pull the pants down. Same as with the shirt, he could have simply pulled them off and have Laurent underneath him in all his naked glory a moment later, but again, he needed to make sure every inch of exposed skin was properly greeted by his worshipping hands, his fingers spread over Laurent’s thighs, clearly the thighs of a trained rider. Damen bent Laurent’s legs and pushed the pants further down, and then he kissed, and kissed and lay down on his stomach between Laurent’s open legs, arms beneath Laurent’s bent knees and hands at his hips. 

Carefully, he pulled Laurent down on the bed, closer, until he was surrounded by warm, soft flesh covered in light, fuzzy hair. At one side he began, rubbing his face all over the inside of Laurent’s thigh, muscles twitching inside it. He brushed his lips against the same spot and then he started kissing. 

When he looked up, he saw that Laurent had one hand buried in his own hair and his lips parted, eyes lidded, alternating between looking down and rolling back up. He was quiet, his uneven breathing less audible than it was visible through the having and sinking of his chest. His cock was resting hot and hard against his stomach, untouched and leaking a drop of his pleasure onto his skin. Damen made a mental note to get a taste of it sometime, but for now he was satisfied with the way he was slowly taking Laurent apart with only his face pressed against the sensitive insides of his thighs. 

Over and over again, he moved up until he reached the crease where Laurent’s thigh ended and the round globe of his asscheek began. Until he could lick along Laurent’s hipbone. Until his nose was already pressed into the thick, blond curls surrounding Laurent’s cock. The slightly sharper release of a breath here and the twitch of a muscle there were all the reactions he got, every one of them encouraging him to kiss a little softer, to make the touch of the tip of his tongue resemble that of a feather. On Laurent, it worked beautifully. Gently, Damen built up the pleasure inside him until he was shaking. 

A single moan escaped Laurent’s lips, so quiet that if it had been from anyone else, Damen would barely have counted it as a moan. Laurent’s hand covered Damen’s on Laurent’s hip and a tremor went through him. A moment later, Laurent’s other hand in Damen’s hair was pushing him off, holding him at a close distance that allowed him to breathe against Laurent and watch as he reached a climax unlike what Damen had seen, or felt, for that matter, before. 

Laurent’s hips hung in the air for a moment, cock throbbing but ultimately being denied release by something inside of him. Damen knew it was that something that he was being mindful of, not yet sure whether it needed to go or not, only that it would take time to learn about it. 

For long moments, Laurent remained shaky, but his grip on Damen’s hair loosened and Damen crawled over him, kissing his cheeks and his forehead and when he’d caught his breath, his lips. Few minutes later, Laurent had gathered himself, but sweat had turned some of the strands of silky, straight blond hair in his neck into curls. Damen wrapped one of them around the tip of his finger and smiled to himself, entirely convinced that he was the luckiest man on earth. 

“Do you want me to-” 

“Huh?” Damen looked up and found Laurent looking at him, vaguely gesturing at Damen’s middle. It took a moment until he realized that Laurent was referring to Damen’s own, so far neglected cock, rock hard and standing to attention. 

“Oh, I see what’s happening,” Damen said with a smile, “you thought I was done with you. Don’t worry, my prince.” 

“Different, huh?” Laurent muttered, echoing Damen’s earlier statement. 

“Exactly,” Damen nodded before he demanded another kiss. It would be different. And he was only starting to prove to Laurent  _ how _ different… 


	2. Of Power and the Men who Give it

Lying in bed with Laurent in his arms was different than lying in bed on his own, and it was different than lying in bed with anybody who wasn’t Laurent. It hadn’t taken as long for Damen to fall for the Prince of Vere as he would have liked to tell himself, and yet he thought that he’d never quite looked at Laurent the way he was during the hours they spent entangling their bodies and breathing each other in. 

Damen had always liked this part - the  _ after _ . Or maybe  _ liked _ wasn’t exactly the right word. He’d always believed it was the real part. Physical attraction and the desire to be close to someone were feelings he was well acquainted with. Sex was a wonderful experience and Damen had enjoyed a lot of it over the years. But those things came easy to him. A look, a smile, a dance. A few shared words, a touch here and there. It was beautiful in itself, wanting someone and being wanted. It almost felt like a burning inside him at times. Damen had always liked the chase of his pleasure, the rush of it, the high. 

After, with sweat making skin sticky and breath coming raggedly, was the time to find out how fast the flames would recede and what would be left after the fire went out. It had never occurred to Damen to think of it as sad, even if he knew others saw the matter differently. For every beautiful person he’d been with, he was grateful. He’d taken their company, their words to him, their affections for what they were. He’d enjoyed them while they’d lasted. 

They’d never lasted. 

Now Damen had his arm wrapped around Laurent and his head on Laurent’s chest, listening to his heartbeat while Laurent was dozing. Damen wasn’t even thinking about closing his eyes. Again and again, his gaze wandered over Laurent’s relaxed features, taking note of every close-to-invisible detail. If all things went wrong soon, he would carry this image in his heart, he would take his last breath re-playing this vision in his head. 

Laurent was ice as much as he was fire, or maybe he wasn’t fire at all, maybe he was a single, blue flame. For the first time in his life, Damen wasn’t ready for this flame to go out. Not this one. Not Laurent. 

The  _ after _ was getting a new meaning too. Damen was overwhelmed by a need to take care of Laurent. To protect him, not from swords but from a reality where they weren’t inseparable. All that Damen could give for the moment were the hours of sleep, the warmth and tenderness, but it didn’t seem enough, didn’t seem like the time they had was sufficient, didn’t seem like their bodies were close enough even when they lay pressed against each other. 

Damen reached out and let the tip of his finger trail across Laurent’s forehead, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. He wondered if there would ever come a day when he would be able to resist touching Laurent this way, praying that there wouldn’t. At Laurent’s neck he lingered, finding nothing but smooth, light skin although he’d been kissing both sides thoroughly, but he’d tried to be so careful, so gentle, and he hadn’t left a mark behind. 

Naturally, Damen lost himself in the beauty that was in front of him. He couldn’t stop looking, couldn’t stop caressing soft skin with his fingers. He would never sleep again, he thought, not when this was the alternative, drawing invisible waves and circles on Laurent’s body. 

He didn’t realize Laurent had woken up until he heard a sleepy voice say, “Are you enjoying yourself?” 

Damen looked up and found Laurent’s eyes in narrow slits and his lips in a lazy smile. 

“Yes,” he replied. “You’re a beautiful man, Laurent.” 

Laurent’s arms tightened around him and they started kissing. Damen liked that the kisses weren’t demanding at first and didn’t have anything particularly sexual about them. It was just that they needed to be close, that the pressure of each other’s lips was such a wonderful way to remind of their presence, of their proximity, of their intention to stay. 

It was Laurent who took things into a different direction after a while, his mouth moving from Damen’s lips to his cheek and along his jaw, to his neck and down to his collarbone, then back up again, supposedly because Laurent had noticed his reaction to the neck kisses. They weren’t only kisses though. Laurent dragged his lips over Damen’s skin and then did the same except with the tip of his tongue, stopping for kisses along the way. Damen could barely contain himself. His neck had always been his weakness. 

When Laurent added a hint of teeth to his ministrations, a sound that could almost be called a whimper escaped Damen’s lips. Before his brain could register and process what was happening, Laurent had flipped him over and pinned with his back against the mattress, the weight of Laurent’s body on top of him. 

“Why don’t I take care of you this time?” Laurent asked. His fingers danced over the muscles in Damen’s arms and wrapped around his wrists, pulling both arms up and holding them in place above Damen’s head. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like that.” 

“Of course I would like that,” Damen said. It had taken him a while to get his hard cock to calm down and now, with Laurent practically sitting on it, he was just as aroused as before. But Laurent touching him hadn’t even made it into Damen’s wet dreams so far. All his fantasies had revolved around  _ him  _ giving pleasure to  _ Laurent _ . 

“But I don’t expect you to... reciprocate,” Damen added. “You know, if that’s what you think. I like making you feel good. It’s not dependent on your willingness to make me feel good in return. It’s just- It feels great, you know?” 

“Oh,” Laurent said, but Damen could tell he was still processing the statement. “Sooo,” he continued, dragging it out. 

“So?” Damen asked, making eye-contact. 

“So, earlier,” Laurent said, “you weren’t thinking about how much you’d wish to be inside me?” 

Damen gave him a soft smile. “I’d be lying if I told you the thought hadn’t crossed my mind at all in these past hours. But no. What I was thinking was, heavens, this man is perfect. I hope he lets me touch him for the rest of my life. I hope he’s enjoying this as much as I want him to.” 

Laurent’s upper teeth dug into his lower lip and then slowly released it again, a reaction Damen had never witnessed from him before. “That was what you were thinking?” 

Damen nodded. “And maybe also how I wanted to suck your cock, since we’re being honest right now.” 

Laurent’s eyebrows shot up faster than he probably wanted them to. “That’s something you wanted to do?” 

“Want,” Damen corrected him, “present tense. It’s a very pretty cock you’ve got there.” 

Laurent blushed immediately, “Now that’s a compliment even  _ I  _ haven’t heard before.” 

“It’s true,” Damen grinned, and it was. He liked the nest of blond curls around it and the slight curve it made when it was hard. Laurent’s cock was of a pleasant size in proportion to his body and its head had a lovely pink color. For a moment, Laurent only watched while Damen admired it. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course,” Damen nodded. Laurent was still straddling him, hands pinning Damen’s wrists down above his head, holding him in place. If this was the position he’d chosen to talk, Damen didn’t mind. 

“Does it not bother you at all,” Laurent began, searching for words as if he wasn’t quite sure which ones were right, “kneeling in front of someone? Even if it’s… like  _ this?” _

Something churned in Damen’s stomach. He didn’t dislike the question, but the fact that it had been on Laurent’s mind in the first place. 

“No,” he said decidedly. “Laurent, you will find there can be quite the power in kneeling for someone. If the choice is yours.” 

Laurent nodded, but didn’t say anything. 

“I’m not talking about the kind of power that one man takes from another,” Damen felt the need to add. “I’m talking about the kind of power one  _ gives.”  _

“They’re different?” 

“Very,” Damen said, and then, when Laurent didn’t reply and the moment stretched into silence, “Come down here and kiss me.” 

Laurent complied by leaning down and capturing Damen’s lips in a kiss, soft and slow at first, but as soon as their mouths parted and tongues met, the gentleness was replaced by something hot and urgent. As well as he could with his arms pinned, Damen craned his neck and strained for more, but Laurent seemed to like teasing him, pulling back and taking control over how much of his mouth he was letting Damen have. Damen’s frustrated sighs and grunts didn’t mean he wasn’t enjoying the game immensely. 

All his willpower gathered, Damen managed to keep his body from rocking against Laurent, whose body was hot and hard directly on top of him, tempting. He couldn’t dream of the self-control Laurent had, but even Laurent began to fall apart eventually, namely when his hips started moving and his cock dragged over Damen’s lower belly, and then against his cock, ever so slowly. Sweet, sweet torture. 

The glide was smoothed by the wetness leaking from Laurent, or maybe Damen, or maybe both of them. There was a wonderful friction that was far from enough, and Laurent set such a slow pace that Damen soon reached the point where he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled away from Laurent’s mouth and let his head fall back onto the mattress, lips tingling. He licked them, enjoyed the fact that they were a little sore from all the kisses despite Laurent’s general softness. 

“Laurent,” he said, getting way too used to taking the name in his mouth, liking its shape and taste and the way it felt to make it sound. Calling someone by their first name was an act of intimacy, Damen decided. 

His name didn’t disrupt the rhythm with which Laurent moved his hips, but his eyes were on Damen’s face, on his lips, right where Damen wanted them. 

“I’ll keep my hands where they are now,” Damen promised. “I’ll just lie here like I am now. You can come closer.” 

It was clear on Laurent’s face that he wasn’t understanding at first. How much closer can two men be than attached at their mouths and cocks? But Damen licked his lips again while looking deep into Laurent’s eyes, then dropped his gaze to Laurent’s cock. Laurent’s mouth parted and hung open. 

“I want to know what you taste like,” Damen said. Laurent’s tip was shiny, glistening. It looked beautiful and he found himself  _ wanting _ . Wanting to give power to Laurent and watch him take it, have it, treat it gently. 

Laurent swallowed. “Like this?” He asked, meaning,  _ With you on your back? Arms out of the way? Helpless?  _ Damen wasn’t afraid, he was ecstatic. 

“Only if you want it.” 

Laurent released a long breath. His hands traveled down Damen’s arms and to his chest, palms flat over Damen’s heart. He started moving again then, and at first it was as if he was continuing where he’d left off, letting skin slide against skin. Damen looked up at Laurent’s face for a few moments. When he returned his gaze to their bodies, Laurent’s cock was resting in the middle of his upper body, tip almost reaching his chest. 

“Beautiful,” Damen murmured, “so beautiful.” 

Laurent placed his knees closer to Damen’s shoulders, but when he moved his hips forward and then stopped there, Damen couldn’t be sure whether he wasn’t simply going to move back again. Maybe Laurent couldn’t either. Like this, time stretched until Damen could feel Laurent’s thighs touching his raised upper arms. Laurent’s hands found Damen’s wrists again, not to hold them down this time but to hold himself up. 

Damen sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to press his chest against Laurent’s ass, since Laurent wasn’t putting much of his body weight on him, which Damen wouldn’t have minded at all. 

“You really want to give me this?” Laurent asked. He was so close by now that Damen could have raised his head and licked him. 

“I really,  _ really _ want to,” Damen replied. 

Laurent leaned forward and lifted his ass off of Damen’s chest. He made a little noise when Damen caught the wetness dripping from him with his tongue and swallowed it, not even having actually touched him. But now that he’d had a taste, Damen wanted nothing more than to do exactly that. Still, he waited. 

“I want it too,” Laurent said. 

Damen stuck his tongue out and gave Laurent’s cock a lick. The shudder that went through Laurent told him it wouldn’t last long, so Damen was all the more determined to make it good. 

Laurent was way too out of it to help with his hands, he was busy opening his eyes to look down at Damen for a few seconds before they automatically fluttered shut again. Damen didn’t mind. He craned his neck and turned his head until he’d licked Laurent wet. And then he caught the tip between his lips and sucked lightly, letting his tongue circle it. 

From there on, it was like their bodies knew how to do it by instinct. In his compromised position, Damen couldn’t do much else than lie still, keep his lips closed and suck while Laurent slowly let him have one more inch at a time, stopping and gathering himself, fighting for a few more moments worth of self-control. 

Laurent stared down and Damen gave him the smallest nod, again and again and again, question and answer until Laurent was finally pushing against the back of Damen’s throat and he swore he could have come from it, if only Laurent had pushed down a little faster, a little harder. 

Laurent pulled out, almost all the way out and then he pushed back inside Damen’s mouth. It was so,  _ so  _ slow. Two times and Laurent’s thighs were quivering. Three times and his palm pressed against Damen’s. Four times and he remained deep inside, Damen’s throat reminding him he was supposed to have a gag reflex, but Damen’s attention was focused on Laurent above him. 

Once again, there was a breathless little moan audible, and then Laurent’s cock was gone from his mouth and they were kissing more hungrily than Damen had known Laurent even could. Laurent’s tongue was thrusting into his mouth like he was trying to fuck him with it. One hand remained at Damen’s wrists, the other gripped his cock. 

_ Oh. Damn. _

Now Damen really couldn’t pretend like he wasn’t painfully hard anymore. Like his cock wasn’t aching to be touched, like he wasn’t dying for release. Laurent had his elegant fingers wrapped around it, moving them up and down and up again, thumb sweeping over the tip. Up and down and up, pressure against the slit. Damen was falling apart.

While Laurent kissed and kissed and kissed him, Damen merely moaned into his mouth. Laurent fastened his pace until Damen couldn’t help himself anymore, and didn’t want to either, so he welcomed the tingle and the tremors and the fall over the edge, shooting his release all over himself, breathing heavily. 

Laurent stopped kissing him and loosened his fist around his cock without letting go completely, staying above Damen and pressing their foreheads together like Damen had done earlier. He was still and silent, but not quite as still and silently as he could be. Few seconds later, more hot liquid landed on Damen’s stomach. 

Damen took his arms down and wrapped them around Laurent, his strength forcing Laurent to lie on top of him again, chest against chest. 

“This is gross,” Laurent complained when he moved for the first time, their bodies sticking together. 

Damen smiled and kissed his cheek. “The prince needs a bath, I think.” 

“I’d rather get cleaned up as quickly as possible and return to bed with you,” Laurent murmured, but Damen had a different idea. 

“Just let me take care of it,” he said, manoeuvring Laurent in his lap and then simply carrying him with him as he stood up from the bed. It was time for a bath, he decided, and he would personally make sure it would be as relaxing as possible. 

“My legs still work, you know,” Laurent pointed out, “even if you tried really hard to change that.” 

_ “Really hard,  _ huh?” Damen laughed. “I haven’t even started trying really,  _ really _ hard.” 

“I’m beginning to think this is how you’re going to end me,” Laurent said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

Damen leaned in and kissed that corner. Laurent’s smiles were powerful things. 

“Would that be such a terrible way to go?” 

“Oh,” said Laurent, “I see what’s happening. You thought I was complaining.” 

Damen laughed. The joke was on him. Because of these days, Laurent was going to be the death of  _ him. _


	3. Mess and Peace

“Are you sure that this amount of soap is really necessary?” Laurent asked, watching over Damen’s shoulder as Damen poured more and more of the wonderfully scented liquid into the slowly filling bathtub. Laurent was standing directly behind him, arms slung around his middle, fingertips caressing his front. Every now and again, he pressed kisses to Damen’s shoulders. 

“If I want to see my prince sitting in a sea of foam and bubbles,” Damen explained, “then yes, we do need this much soap.” The truth was, it was the same soap Laurent had always used to clean his body, and so its scent was doing complicated things to Damen on the inside, and so he simply couldn’t stop himself. 

“Stop it now,” Laurent ordered, but not without a well audible smile, “I want to get in. I’m starting to get cold.” 

Laurent’s body didn’t feel cold at all against Damen’s back, and freezing must have been impossible inside the tiny bathroom after Damen had made it fog up with all the hot water. It was more than likely that Laurent wasn’t actually cold but only seeking his attention, which wasn’t hard to get for Laurent at all. 

Damen deemed the bath ready, turned around and kissed Laurent deeply before picking him up. There was not technically a need for Laurent to be lifted over the ledge of the tub and slowly lowered into the water, but Damen liked doing it, especially because it allowed him to feel Laurent’s gradual relaxation as his body was surrounded by warmth. All Damen needed now was the softest sponge the bathroom had to offer and he would be happy washing Laurent until the water would eventually get cold. 

Laurent’s eyes had closed as Damen kneeled on the floor next to the tub, the rising damp was curling the hair in his neck, his cheeks were tinted a bright pink and he looked to die for. Literally to die for, because Damen knew as he looked at him that he would give his life for the prince he wasn’t supposed to love. 

“What are you doing?” Laurent asked when Damen had positioned himself close enough to the tub so he could reach all of Laurent’s body. He took Laurent’s hand and started gently rubbing at his skin with the sponge, moving from hand to shoulder. 

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m washing you.” 

“Stop that,” Laurent said, “come in here.” 

Damen wanted to object, possibly only because it was what he naturally did when Laurent gave orders. “I’m huge,” he pointed out, “I’m going to take all your space away. And the water.” 

“You didn’t think I let you put me in a bath to enjoy the space, did you? Get in here.” 

Damen got up, considered the options for a second and then climbed into the tub, standing opposite Laurent, who stared up at him like he was a piece of art made to be admired, which felt new and unsettling with his cock being soft and the strange look on Laurent’s face. 

“Turn around.” 

Too surprised to be fighting, Damen obliged. He turned around, aware that he was offering Laurent the full and perfect view on his back with the countless scars. He stood for as long as he could take it, reminding himself that there was no painless version of what Laurent and he had. Finally, slowly, he sank into the hot water where Laurent touched his arms, directing him back until he was settling against Laurent’s chest. 

“Hello, lover,” Laurent whispered as Damen’s head came to rest against his shoulder. He kissed Damen’s cheek and took the sponge from his hands. 

Now it was Damen’s turn to ask, “What are you doing?” 

Laurent ran a hand through Damen’s hair. “Remember what you said about taking care of me? I liked that. You know I don’t exactly have much experience being with someone, but I think I’m starting to understand a few essential things about it.” 

Damen wanted to ask, but he didn’t have to. Laurent had wanted him in the position he was currently in, laid back against Laurent’s chest, surrounded by his legs, held in his arms. Laurent had taken the sponge, was now starting to move it over Damen’s skin with gentle pressure. Damen realized that Laurent too, in spite of being so gifted with words, spoke with actions to him. And to think that this was the man they called ice cold. A snake. Even his own men thought of him that way. Of course Damen understood why, but now he also understood how wrong they were. 

With Laurent’s heart beating against his back and surrounded by his favorite scent in the world, Damen soon stopped thinking altogether. He wanted to say some things, to let Laurent know how good he felt in their shared moment, but his mouth became lazy and his eyes fell shut and his tiredness overcame him. The world outside of the bathtub ceased to exist and every concern left Damen’s mind temporarily. Laurent was washing them away, all the bad things from the past and all the possibly even worse things to come. He kissed Damen’s skin until it felt like nothing and nobody else had ever touched it. 

Peace, was the only thought left on Damen’s mind. Peace, and Laurent. Maybe, to him, they were the same thing. 

“Sleepyhead,” Laurent’s voice called him softly. Damen forced his eyes open and found Laurent looking at him with a smile on his face. 

“I didn’t want to wake you,” Laurent said, “but the water’s too cold to stay in here much longer and I doubt I can lift you as easily as you do with me, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to get up.” 

Damen looked around, returning to the reality where he’d fallen asleep in Laurent’s arms in a bath that had been meant for him to rub Laurent clean for hours. He was a little disappointed he’d missed out on the chance to wash Laurent’s hair, but Laurent was right, the water was cold and their skin wrinkled from lying in it so long, so he pulled himself up and out, offering Laurent a hand. 

“I must admit,” Laurent told him as he took it and stepped out of the bath, “out of all the things I always figured I was missing by not taking anyone to my bed, watching someone sleep on top of me wasn’t very high on the list.” 

Damen let out a small laugh and reached for a towel. “How about being dried off by your lover after a bath? Is that something you think you’ve been missing?” 

Laurent shrugged his shoulders and grinned. “Maybe.” 

Damen didn’t need to be told any more explicitly. Since it was still warm in the little bathroom, he didn’t mind letting the air dry his own body while he focused on Laurent. They stood facing each other and Damen started at Laurent’s neck, carefully patting it dry. From the shoulders he moved down both arms. Of course, after this, every fingertip had to be kissed before Damen could continue by rubbing the towel over Laurent’s chest. 

It was wonderful to be doing this, even if Damen wasn’t directly touching him, because Laurent stood still, because it was a form of permission to be looking. Because it was quiet and they were both soft from the bath and the warmth and the laziness and something coming from the inside. Because as long as they had time for Damen to kneel on the rug in front of Laurent in order to dry off every inch of his body, they had time to be neither royalty nor slaves, neither leaders nor followers. They belonged to no kingdom and they picked no side, they knew no war and they fought no battle. 

Damen pressed his lips next to Laurent’s belly button while Laurent’s hand ran through his hair again. To dry Laurent’s legs one after the other, he touched his ankle lightly so that Laurent would lift his foot, holding on to Damen’s thick hair for balance as Damen pushed the towel up his calf and then his thigh. He’d never touched anything more carefully than Laurent’s soft cock, merely holding it in the towel for a few moments. It looked so lovely. Laurent looked so lovely. 

Damen rose to his feet and turned Laurent around by the shoulders. Then, he started over. Although Laurent’s arms and legs should have been dry by then, Damen wanted to be thorough. He kissed the back of Laurent’s neck and buried his nose in the soft little blond curls for a while before he continued down Laurent’s back. Once he reached the curve of his ass, he dropped to his knees once again. Damen couldn’t help this need to kneel for Laurent, it was simply what Laurent did to him, and not by ordering it. 

Damen didn’t actually believe in heaven, but he was sure he couldn’t get any closer to it than with his face directly at Laurent’s ass anyway. It was funny to him that this part of Laurent was even more white than the rest. It was an indescribably beautiful ass, two round globes and a layer of light blond fuzz covering them. Damen raised the towel to it and started rubbing it over the soft skin, not missing how Laurent placed his feet just a half inch further apart. Damen looked up and discovered a certain tension in Laurent’s shoulders. He threw away the towel and replaced it with his hands. 

With both of Damen’s big hands cupping his ass, Laurent released a small breath, but stayed otherwise still. Damen loved the feeling of skin and flesh and muscle. He couldn’t resist testing it out, squeezing lightly a couple of times. The sight was too delicious, so he went ahead and kissed Laurent, flicking his tongue out and eventually biting down cautiously enough so it wouldn’t hurt. Laurent didn’t make a sound, but his back arched and as a result, his ass pressed back firmly against Damen’s face. Maybe heaven did exist, Damen thought. 

The good thing was, in their current position, Damen didn’t need to push. Laurent was standing on his own to feet and he was free to move; move closer or move away. Damen simply kneeled, hands loosely at the sides of Laurent’s thighs. With his mouth his kissed and licked and sucked and nibbled, but he didn’t move his head, no matter how badly he wanted to be smothered by Laurent’s asscheeks until he would suffocate. 

It was Laurent who needed to move to get what he wanted, and as always, Laurent needed time. At first he only pushed back lightly. Several minutes later, his hips started moving just a little, always stopping again. He opened his thighs, but Damen tried his best to resist the temptation until Laurent reached back, gripping Damen’s right wrist and putting the hand to his ass. Again, Laurent gave himself a moment while Damen rubbed his face all over Laurent’s asscheek. Then, he reached for Damen’s other hand and placed it so that Damen had a tight grip of his ass, but he didn’t pull the lovely, firm cheeks apart. He just breathed. And waited. 

Finally,  _ finally _ , Laurent bent over, bracing his arms against the bathtub in front of him, thereby exposing himself to Damen, who decided to reward Laurent immediately by re-attaching his face to his ass. His intention to be careful and his urge to make a feast of Laurent’s ass were fighting inside of Damen. He willed himself calm and and stuck his tongue out, dragging it over Laurent’s skin, slowly nearing his entrance. Laurent’s head dropped when he reached it and licked over it. One leg twitched and something in Laurent’s breathing changed without it being very obvious. 

Damen did it again, flicking his tongue over the tight little pink muscle that twitched between Laurent’s cheeks. Again. Again. And then he couldn’t stop. With Laurent bent over like this, he had a beautiful view on his cock hanging hard and heavy between his parted legs. As well as he could from behind, he licked it as well, dragging his mouth all the way up until he reached the small of Laurent’s back. Over and over again, he licked everything he could reach of Laurent, sucking a little here and there until Laurent started shaking, and that was when he knew he had Laurent where he wanted him. 

For a moment, Damen removed his face from between Laurent’s asscheeks, tapping Laurent’s hip with two fingers to draw his attention. “Tell me to stop,” he said, “and I’ll stop immediately, no questions asked.” 

He saw Laurent nodding his head, but it wasn’t good enough. “Words, Laurent,” Damen said, “promise me you’ll stop me before I make you uncomfortable.” 

“I will,” Laurent answered, “promise.” 

Satisfied, Damen gripped Laurent by the hips to offer him stability, and then he started right where he’d left off, namely with his mouth attached to Laurent’s hole. Again, he swirled his tongue around, but then he started sucking like he meant it, like maybe not all pleasure had to be dragged out infinitely, like maybe he was looking to wreck Laurent right then and there. And he couldn’t say it wasn’t working. Laurent, master of self-control, was having serious trouble holding still. And that was even before Damen positioned the tip of his tongue against his entrance and started applying pressure. 

“Oh, holy-” Laurent pressed out, but he never elaborated on what was so holy. He was too busy pushing back against Damen’s face to make Damen’s tongue push inside him.

Damen was in a new found paradise between Laurent’s asscheeks. He’d reached a point where every move got a reaction from Laurent. Every squeeze of his hands on Laurent’s hips was answered with a heavy breath, every flick of his tongue with a twitch of a muscle. Every push inside Laurent made him quiver, and every time Damen pulled back, Laurent followed, his body begging for more. 

Damen had his eyes closed and all his other senses focused on Laurent, who was slowly but surely falling apart around his tongue, making desperate little noises and desperate little movements, riding Damen’s tongue when nothing else was good enough anymore. 

“Oh,” Laurent made, almost like he was surprising himself, like his body was surprising him. A second later, one of his hands left the bathtub and came to grab Damen by the hair as if there was any need at all to push Damen even closer or hold him there, but Damen liked it a whole lot. 

Another “Oh.” followed and Laurent clenched down around Damen’s tongue, fingers tightening in his hair as he trembled. When it was over, he almost fell. Damen caught him and pulled him down into his arms, breathlessly staring down at the man he had pressed against his chest, a man with reddened cheeks and his own release sticking to his collarbone. Damen leaned down and licked it off, rewarded by another one of Laurent’s special little sounds. 

He wanted to swallow, but Laurent grabbed his face and kissed him instead, tongue pushing inside his mouth until the taste had disappeared between the two of them. 

“Looks like you’ve made a mess of me,” Laurent whispered. “Again.” 

“Looks like it,” Damen replied, not without pride. “What are you going to do about it, my prince?” 

Laurent almost seemed like he’d been waiting for this exact question. He got up and held out a hand, gesturing for Damen to follow, pulling him up from the floor and back to bed, pushing him down on top of it, standing in front of Damen with a dark shimmer in his eyes. 

“I’ll make a mess of you too.” 


	4. Of Words Neither Too Big Nor Too Little

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am terribly sorry for promising this update for last Friday and then not delivering. I am the worst. The lock-down is not doing me much good, my friends. 
> 
> Secondly, this chapter contains unprotected anal sex. Do not do this at home, kids. In fact, do not do this anywhere. Don't forget your rubber, bubba. 
> 
> And finally, in another attempt to hold my future self accountable, you can expect the final chapter by the end of this week. If it's not here on Sunday, you have permission to come and bully me.

_ “I’ll make a mess of you too.” _

Damen stared up at Laurent. One would think that after spending hours together, hours of shared pleasure and tenderness, the want and need for each other would eventually weaken, but every time Damen looked at Laurent, there seemed to be something new in him to be discovered, and Damen didn’t intend to leave his side until they knew each other by heart. 

He remained on his back on the bed where Laurent had pushed him, head propped up on a pillow. Damen wasn’t exactly shy, and neither was he self-conscious about the way he looked, but Laurent’s gaze tickled differently on his skin. There was that hunger in his eyes, that playfulness that Damen knew so well from all his previous lovers, but there was something else too, something fragile and tender.

“Tell me,” Damen whispered with amusement, “how are you planning to do that?” 

Laurent blushed a little at first, something that never would have happened to him outside of the bubble they’d made for themselves. Damen could feel a light tug at his heart at the realization that Laurent had let his guard down enough to blush instead of simply saying what Damen wanted to hear. 

“Do you like it when I talk to you?” Laurent asked. 

Damen thought about it. “Yes,” he decided, understanding that he always had liked to listen to Laurent’s voice, no matter the words it had uttered or the sharpness of his tone. 

“Close your eyes,” Laurent said, “and I will keep talking.” 

Damen closed his eyes and covered them with his forearm, just to be sure. 

“Look who’s suddenly eager to obey my commands,” Laurent said. “And here I was thinking it would never happen.” 

“Maybe you should have taken me to your bed sooner,” Damen grinned. 

The bed dipped and Laurent was above him, but barely touching his skin, breathing against Damen’s lips. 

“Maybe I wanted to,” he whispered. “Maybe I thought about it when I was alone. Maybe I dreamed of it at night. Maybe the thoughts came to me once or twice while I was in the bath.” 

Physically, Laurent was barely touching him, but Damen was getting aroused so much that he wanted to lift his head and search for a kiss with his mouth. Maybe it would compel Laurent to lie down on top of him so they could properly touch. 

“Tell me about it,” Damen begged, “please.” It was a powerful thought, Laurent thinking about him during the calmer moments of his day even back when he’d still appeared to hate Damen. 

“You know what’s  _ different?”  _ Laurent continued, “It’s you. I knew it the moment I first saw you. It wasn’t supposed to be like this between us. You were a slave. You were supposed to be useful. You had a purpose, that was all that it was supposed to be. Not a name, not a face, not a character. Just the purpose to serve me. But you refused to understand it. And I knew I had to break you if I wanted to make you understand. I also knew I wouldn’t be able to. I tried regardless, as you know. But you were  _ different. _ You talked to me  _ differently _ and you touched me  _ differently.  _ It was incredibly inappropriate. And I felt myself waiting for you to do it again. And again. And again.” 

Damen kept his eyes shut, raising his arms to remind Laurent of the gold around his wrists. “I  _ am _ yours, just like I was supposed to.” 

“And yet,” said Laurent, “it is  _ different. _ Don’t tell me you disagree.” 

_ “Everything _ is different with you,” Damen answered. “I find it hard to tell the exact reason.” 

“So you understand, then,” Laurent replied. Not a question. “I don’t remember the last time I wanted a human person to touch me. And now…” 

“And now?” 

Laurent’s fingertips moved up and down Damen’s arms, his touches so light they could have been just feathers brushing his skin. It never ceased to amaze Damen how gentle Laurent could be. How wondered how long Laurent had waited to allow himself tenderness. 

“Now, I feel like the temperature drops when you leave the room. Now, I wrap the blankets tightly around myself at night and imagine I was held by your arms. Now, one look at you is enough to make me want to reach out for you.”

Damen’s head was getting dizzy. Not in his wildest dreams would he have ever dared to imagine words of this kind, genuine words, coming from Laurent, spoken so softly, breathed over his skin. 

“Now, I never want to see you in clothes again.” 

Laurent leans down and kisses Damen’s cheeks one after the other. Damen’s breath catches in his throat. 

“Now, I hate nothing more than the thought of leaving this room again. Of letting you go. Out of my bed, out of my arms.” 

“Laurent.” 

“I know,” Laurent sighed. “I know. But this is what you’ve done to me. I want to put my hands in your hair. I want to taste your lips. I want to be on top of you. I want to feel your heart beating and I want to hear those noises you make when your pleasure overcomes you. I want to have the time to do it again and again to see if I’ll ever have enough.” 

He grabbed Damen’s chin and put his mouth on Damen’s mouth. Laurent could be soft, but he could be the opposite just as well. With his teeth and tongue he demanded access to Damen’s mouth and while they got lost in each other, he lowered himself onto Damen’s body so that his cock was resting on Damen’s stomach. 

After a while, Laurent broke their series of heated kisses and smiled down at Damen. “See, I’ve fantasized about this, too, but it was never as good in my mind as it is in reality. And for that reason, I must try everything I’ve ever wanted to try. My fantasies will just not do, I’m afraid.” 

“I’m all yours,” Damen promised. He was ecstatic to find out what all Laurent had in mind. 

Laurent gave him a bright, wonderful smile before he dove down and began kissing Damen’s neck. Because he was Laurent, he was thorough, almost as if he was studying Damen, testing out his lips and tongue and teeth. Softly, not so softly. He sat back up and watched Damen’s reactions, traced the sides of his neck with the tips of his fingers, reattached his mouth, tried again, kissing and sucking and nibbling until Damen was rutting up against him. 

Again, Laurent sat up, grinding down this time, giving Damen’s cock some much needed friction. He put a hand around Damen’s throat and Damen let him. The other hand reached for Damen’s jaw, fingers stretching for his lips, tracing them. Damen opened up and closed his mouth around them, sucking lightly. 

“Do you know what scares me the most?” Laurent whispered. “It’s that I can’t think of tomorrow right now. That I can’t think of anything beyond this. Us. I can’t even think about me. I’ve spent so much time picturing your hands on me. Your cock inside me. Yes, I have. But now I just want to put  _ my  _ hands on  _ you.” _

Damen didn’t know what to say. He understood. As good as it felt to be given pleasure, he was very familiar with the urgent want to take care of a lover himself. Other than Laurent, it had never scared him, but he understood that, too, at least partly. Laurent came from a different life. 

Laurent did as he had said. He put his hands on Damen. Everywhere. With the tips of his fingers he followed every line that Damen’s face consisted of. He traced the angle of his jaw and followed his neck down to his shoulders, then his collarbones to his chest. He put his palms flat against Damen’s skin. Every inch of Damen was cautiously explored and remembered, he knew it. Laurent looked beautiful as he did this. 

Damen had been hard since after the bath, but he’d ignored his arousal, all his attention focused on Laurent and his softness, but his Laurent’s hands roaming his body, and then, Laurents lips closing around one of his nipples, Damen became a little more desperate. He didn’t stifle his moan, didn’t keep his hips from chasing the pressure and friction that could be found between Laurent’s spread legs. 

“You seem impatient,” Laurent said with a smile. 

“And you seem pleased by it.” 

“I can’t lie,” Laurent shrugged, “having a man like you under me and seeing that I can do  _ this _ to him - how could I be anything but pleased?” 

“You know fairly well that you can do anything to me.” 

“Anything?” Laurent asked at the same time as he reached for Damen’s cock, wrapping his fingers around it. He began moving his hand up and down, slowly, way too slowly. 

“You think I would say no to you?” Damen asked back, letting out a quick laugh. “Try me.” 

Laurent laughed softly, but he blushed as well, his eyes trained on Damen’s chest instead of his eyes. “You said you wouldn’t fuck me.” 

“Yet,” Damen added, because that was the important part. 

“Not the point.” 

“Very much the point.” 

Laurent shook his head and grinned. “What about me fucking you? Have you… thought about it? Ever?” 

Damen had not. Not because he didn’t want it. He was very experienced in most sexual things, but not at all in this particular thing. He wasn’t sure if he wasn’t blushing too, now.

“I’ve never…” 

“Of course not, forget I said anything,” Laurent replied immediately, loosening his grip around Damen’s cock. Damen caught his wrist before he could pull his hand away. 

“That’s not what I mean.” Finally, they were looking each other directly in the eyes. “I was going to say I’ve never done it before.” 

“Oh.” Clearly, Laurent had not expected this. He kept his hand where it was but the movement had stopped, and there lay uncertainty in his eyes now. The moment stretched and Damen felt like he had made things uncomfortable between them. A minute ago, Laurent had been willingly vulnerable. Now, he looked just vulnerable. 

Damen pushed himself up and took Laurent’s face between both hands. He pressed a kiss to Laurent’s lips and whispered, “I trust you.” And then, although it didn’t make sense outside of the context of their shared night, he pulled himself out from under a wide-eyed Laurent and turned around, reaching for Laurent’s hands and wrapping his arms around himself from behind, leaning back against Laurent’s chest once again. “You wouldn’t hurt me,” he said, with Laurent’s skin touching the countless scars on his back. 

Laurent sighed audibly and pressed his forehead against the back of Damen’s neck. He moved his hands across Damen’s chest and stomach, up and down his sides. Slowly. Slowly. He reached for Damen’s hands and Damen squeezed his cautious fingers, confirming once again his consent, and yet it took Laurent an eternity to move from his hands to his shoulders. 

There was a moment where everything was still and completely silent. Damen kneeled in the middle of the bed, his arms at his sides, head hanging low, eyes closed, heart racing. Laurent kneeled behind him, breathing against the nape of Damen’s neck, hands resting where his back and the scars began. He was free to look, free to touch. 

Damen was glad he didn’t say anything. There were no apologies to make. He knew Laurent had indeed wanted to kill him that day when he’d had him flogged. And he knew Laurent was glad now that Damen was alive. He knew there was something deep inside Laurent that had given him reason to harm Damen, but whatever damage it had caused him, the damage done to Laurent was exponentially bigger. A lot had happened since that day and now. Neither of them were the same person anymore. Neither of them would ever go back to their past selves. Neither of them could. 

Seconds passed, maybe minutes, Damen couldn’t say how many. Laurent’s breath finally ghosted over his skin, becoming warmer, getting closer. And then his lips were touching him. Damen let out a shaky breath. He was a soldier, a fighter, always had been. Scars had never been something to hide for him, never something to be ashamed of. But he’d never had any of them covering such a large part of his body, and he remembered the reactions of all those who’d seen his back during the past months. 

Laurent could have told him to turn around, and he would have. Laurent could have pushed him forward and gotten on with it. Damen had offered himself, but Laurent was the one letting the moment stretch, was the one dragging his lips across the uneven surface, covering the scar tissue with gentle little kisses. 

Damen knew the truth. A lot of bad things had happened to him. He would have never dreamed of them. He hadn’t been prepared, and he still wasn’t. But good things came from terribly bad things sometimes, and it didn’t make them any less  _ good.  _ Laurent’s mouth on his skin couldn’t be traded for an unbroken, unmarked body. And if it could, Damen wouldn’t have wanted it. 

Whether Laurent intended to soothe and comfort Damen or whether he was trying to arouse him even more, the two things couldn’t be separated. Damen arched his back and placed his knees further apart when Laurent had finally made his way down along his spine and was nibbling at the skin where hard muscles became soft curves. 

“Are you sure?” Laurent whispered. A moment later he had his nose nuzzled against Damen’s neck again, arms tightly hugging him from behind. “Do you want it?” 

Damen let his head fall back against Laurent’s shoulder and enjoyed the kisses, enjoyed being held. He was okay with not being the one in charge. Just because it hadn’t happened very often before didn’t mean he didn’t want it to happen with Laurent. 

It felt right. Everything. Laurent’s hands and his body and his kisses. The sound of his voice and the promise of his hard cock pressed against Damen’s ass. It was good, it was warm, it was right, it was wonderful. 

“Yes.” 

“You don’t have to-”

“Yes.” 

“We can just-” 

“Yes,” Damen said, “yes. I want it. Yes. I am choosing it. I’m not scared. Not if it’s you.” 

Laurent’s hand moved up to turn Damen’s face then, and they were kissing, and kissing, and kissing, because there was nothing that couldn’t wait for a while as they got lost in their kisses, absolutely nothing. Laurent got up then and returned back to bed with a phial. It looked like the same oil that Damen had been covered in a couple of times before, but when Laurent got back into position behind him and opened it, Damen discovered that it smelled differently, not nearly as strong and obnoxiously flowery. 

Damen really shouldn’t have been surprised by Laurent, once again, taking a lot more time than Damen felt was strictly necessary. His cock was already impossibly hard, precome beading at his tip, and the rest of him was soft and melting in Laurent’s embrace, but Laurent was in no rush. He covered both his hands with the oil, letting Damen get a got look at his long, elegant, slicked up fingers. But of course, he didn’t put them where Damen expected. Instead, he massaged Damen’s cock and balls until Damen wanted to scream, but held himself back because he assumed -  _ hoped  _ \- that Laurent was only getting started. 

Naturally, thankfully, he was right. Laurent poured more oil from his little phial and kissed Damen’s neck up and down and up again as he brought one hand between their bodies. Damen arched his back, not ashamed to be sticking his ass out, not above seeking out Laurent’s hand himself. 

At first, it felt incredibly good. Damen spread his cheeks and held otherwise still while Laurent smeared oil all over him - cock, balls, the insides of his thighs, the round globes of his ass, everything between them, his entrance. He moaned when Laurent brushed over it, because he wanted to, because it felt just as good as Laurent’s thumb swiping over the wet head of his cock. When Laurent applied some pressure, Damen’s moans turned breathy. 

For the next couple of seconds, Damen had to admit that he felt a little strange. The muscle gave way to Laurent’s finger and a part of him felt pleasure immediately, but a different part was alert and demanded a few seconds to get used to the feeling. As if he somehow knew, Laurent stilled and waited. 

“Good or not good?” He asked. 

“New,” Damen answered truthfully. “Good.” 

“Good,” Laurent sighed, and Damen realized that it was a sigh of relief, that he had been scared to be hurting him. Immediately, he needed to kiss Laurent. 

Ever so slowly and carefully, they continued on. Really, it was Damen who moved, pressing down one inch at a time and stopping for as long as he needed to in order to adjust to the feeling of being penetrated. Laurent kissed him through it, through the initial second of discomfort and the transition to pleasure. So gentle, he was. So, so gentle. Damen wanted to cry. Or propose marriage. Or both. 

Time wasn’t real, or at least not important. It might have taken them hours, for all Damen knew, to get him all relaxed and prepared and to the point where he begged Laurent to move the two fingers he had buried inside him. The stretch had become delicious, and he wanted more, and had finally lost his patience and will to take things slow. 

“Yes,” Damen breathed out, pressed out, moaned, groaned, “yes. Good. Yes. More. Laurent. -  _ Laurent. _ Yes. Yes! I want. It. You. Yes.” 

Laurent took mercy on him eventually. “Only if I get to look at you.” Clueless as to how exactly, Damen found himself on his back with his legs spread. Laurent kissed him, and he kissed back, hungrily, desperately, because there was something urgent he needed to say through the kisses. Laurent understood. And he answered. 

It all made sense. They fit together perfectly, Laurent on top of him and between his legs, pushing one of his knees up with his shoulder. He rubbed oil all over his cock and then his cock all over Damen, and Damen had enough of the waiting, but Laurent had enough, too. 

“Yes?” 

“Yes.” 

They kissed. 

Laurent’s lips were soft and his movements a little clumsy as he pushed inside Damen, who winced, overcome by  _ sensation. _ A moment later, he’d already forgotten what the initial feeling was, because all that was left was  _ good, good, so good. _

“Yes,” he murmured into Laurent’s mouth to ask for more, again and again and again until Laurent was pressed all the way inside him and they were both breathing heavily. 

Laurent pulled all the way out and then pushed all the way in again so slowly that Damen nearly lost his mind. If he’d known it would feel like this to have another man fuck him, he thought, he would have tried it sooner.  _ Don’t kid yourself,  _ he thought then,  _ no other man is like Laurent. _ No other man would have taken this much time and care taking him apart piece by piece, and no other man would have made him feel so unbelievably good about it. 

Damen came to understand. Laurent’s thing with being slow. At first it seemed frustrating, but at some point the rhythm with with Laurent kept sliding in and out of him was just right, and Damen knew nothing could have felt better. He grabbed at Laurent’s hair with one hand and at his ass with the other. He kissed until his mouth went slack and he simply let Laurent bite his lips and lick over his tongue. 

The best part was, without a doubt, when Laurent gave up his silence. He still wasn’t moaning and grunting as uncontrollably as Damen, but he let out little noises that came from deep down inside him, and his face was hot against Damen’s cheek. His thrusts came in a steady rhythm, and they hit just right. Damen wanted to scream when he wrapped a hand around his cock, stroking it along with his thrusts. 

Instead of screaming, he turned his head and whispered into Laurent’s ear. “Yes.” Because all other words were either too big or too little. 

Laurent’s fingers around his cock became tighter and faster, and if only -

A strangled sound escaped Laurent. He pressed his thumb against the head of Damen’s cock just right, teasing at the slit, holding it there as he slammed his cock inside Damen one last time before he went rigid and Damen exploded. He was convinced Laurent had somehow managed to wrench two orgasms out of him at the same time - one with his hand and one with his cock. Damen wasn’t mad about it. He wasn’t anything, really, for several long moments before they both collapsed entangled with another, a sweaty mess of limbs and ragged breathing. 

Damen smoothed a hand through Laurent’s hair and kissed his head. Laurent caught his hand before he could pull it away and kissed every knuckle. 

“I knew you weren’t making empty threats when you said you’d make a mess of me,” Damen murmured, “but  _ this?” _

“Just imagine my witty comeback for now,” Laurent replied, voice sounding rough. “I’ll deliver after drinking a bathtub worth of water and sleeping for a week.”

They didn’t have a week. In fact, they didn’t have even a day. Damen didn’t care. 

“Sounds good to me,” he said. 

One last time, he needed to fall asleep with Laurent in his arms pretending like there was no tomorrow, like there wasn’t even a  _ later. _

“Yes,” Laurent muttered sleepily, “Good.” 

_ Yes,  _ Damen thought,  _ Good.  _


	5. Of Love and a Different World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late as fuck and unbeta'd because that's my style. Still, this was fun you guys. Thank you for reading and providing me with feedback! I appreciate you so much!

Damen arrived at the little wooden stable in the late afternoon. First, he found a spot to give his horse water and let it rest, then he stepped outside to take a look around. It was Nikandros who had suggested the place, and he had done so with an eye-roll and a smirk. Damen had followed his best friend’s directions, but he wasn’t entirely sure where he was. Which was perfect. 

The stable stood on top of a small hill in the countryside. There had once been a mill and the miller’s residence attached to it, but war had swept them away. Not much was left where Damen currently was, not even enough people to remember whether the land belonged to Akielos now or Vere. In the end, it didn’t matter. They had been one kingdom, once. And they were about to become one kingdom again. 

Damianos of Akielos and Laurent of Vere were meant to meet again the next day. They were young kings working in unison to abolish borders and cruelties. They were lovers, too, as everyone knew, but there wasn’t much time for that as they both prepared their respective homes for changes. For weeks, they had been separated by the distance between Arles and Ios, busy during the days and yet lonely at night. 

Officially, they were both travelling to meet in the middle, Delpha being their most urgent mission. Meanwhile, two men who were young and madly in love with another used an unknown, uninteresting little stable to steal some time for themselves. 

Damen was dressed in simple clothing, the long sleeve of a light tunic hiding the golden cuff around his wrist. He was barefoot and excited, sitting outside on top of their own little hill in the grass, looking north while the sun warmed his skin. 

Tonight, this would be their kingdom - one free of luxury and noblemen and servants, free of enemies and allies. There would be no feast, no wine, no spectacle. No responsibilities, either. They wouldn’t wear crowns. In fact, they wouldn’t wear anything. Out of everything that Damen had been fighting - risking his life - for, this was the most precious. His kingdom out of sight. His king. 

He didn’t have to wait long before he saw a figure approaching on the horizon. It was just a shadow at first, but the shadow turned into a horse with giant wings. And then the wings turned into the dress of its rider, light blue fabric flying in the wind as the horse galloped up the hill towards Damen, who couldn’t keep from smiling. 

Just in case, they had agreed to disguise themselves. They were not royalty in that moment, they were just there for each other and nothing else. Of course Laurent would find a way to make an entrance without dressing like a king. That man didn’t need a crown, he only needed to be himself. 

Damen stood up and Laurent’s horse slowed as it was close enough for Damen to take a proper look. A moment earlier, he had planned to pull Laurent from his horse immediately and simply smother him in kisses right there in the grass, but Damen couldn’t stop staring. 

Laurent looked beautiful. His hair was cut shorter than the last time they’d seen each other and it looked wild from the wind. His cheeks were rosy and his shoulders covered in only a thin layer of a blue as bright as his eyes. The dress he was wearing was long and elegant, but simple, void of the million laces Damen had gotten used to undoing while undressing him. Underneath he wore trousers but no boots, and he hadn’t bothered with a saddle either. Laurent and the way he held himself on that horse made Damen absolutely weak. 

“Hello, lover,” Laurent said, interrupting Damen’s shameless staring. 

Damen looked up from his thighs and into his eyes. “You look like a dream.” 

“But I taste better,” Laurent said with a wink. 

And to think that this was the same Laurent from all those months earlier. So many bad things had happened. So many bad things were surely to follow yet. But Laurent wasn’t scared of them, as Damen knew. He wasn’t scared of anything anymore. 

“Let’s get your horse some water,” Damen said and finally wrapped his arms around Laurent’s middle to pull him down and cradle him against his chest. Immediately, the familiar weight of Laurent’s body and the scent of him grounded Damen in a way nothing else could. 

“Hello,” he whispered. He’d waited so long for them to be this close again. 

“Hello.” 

And then they kissed. Although they had done so a thousand times, it never ceased to make Damen lose his mind a little. Laurent cupped his face with both hands and pressed their lips together over and over again. Despite having snuck off to have the night to themselves, they were not a secret anymore, and they were not doomed or forbidden or any reason for anyone to make faces at their displays of affection. Except Nikandros maybe, but Damen could live with that. They had forever now, or as long as it would take Laurent to get stabbed for running his filthy mouth. 

“I’ve missed you,” Damen said as they broke apart, Laurent’s mouth remaining close to his own with a wonderful smile. 

“I’ve missed you too,” Laurent replied. “My bed feels so terribly empty without you in it.” 

Damen sighed deeply. “Tell me about it.” He carried Laurent inside on his arms and only let him down so he could make sure both their horses were taken care of and nothing would interrupt them for the rest of the night. 

“Do you want to go outside and watch the sunset?” Damen proposed. He’d become painfully aware of how little time he and Laurent had spent being together just for the sake of being together. Not for war and not for sex, simply for each other’s company. 

“I want to watch you get undressed,” Laurent said bluntly, “I don’t care if you do it here or outside.” He looked at Damen and grinned. “What? Why are you blushing?” 

Damen shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, I just thought it would be nice to sit outside for a while and…”

“And?” 

“Hold your hand, maybe?” Damen felt like a little boy again, like Laurent was his very first crush and he only knew that he wanted  _ something _ , but not at all how to go about it. 

“Heavens,” Laurent laughed,  _ “this.  _ This is how you got me.” It didn’t sound mean at all, which it would have, had Laurent intended it. He grabbed Damen by the arm and pulled him out through the shabby little door. 

Shoulder to shoulder, the two of them stood on top of their little hill. It was a beautiful place that Nikandros had chosen for them, but as Damen himself, and as Laurent, it had seen awful times and barely survived them. It was fitting somehow, tragic if one thought about it and yet beautiful in the glow of the lowering sun. 

“You know,” said Damen, “a part of me has always imagined you and me at a place like this. Far away. Where it’s just the two of us and nothing else matters.”

“I can see the appeal of that,” Laurent nodded. 

They sat down in the grass at the edge of the hill and Damen pulled Laurent close against himself. “We can’t have that, I’m afraid. It can never be just you and me.” 

“Not for longer than a night,” Laurent agreed. “Would you change that if you could? Us? Or, not us. Everything else. The circumstances. The world around us.” 

Damen slowly shook his head. In his dreams, he wanted Laurent to himself, but he was not that selfish during the days. He was not that selfish when he traveled through a shattered and broken kingdom, seeing orphaned children and tired faces. Their world needed someone  _ good _ to lead it into the future. 

“No,” he whispered. 

Laurent leaned in and laid his head on Damen’s shoulder. For a few moments they were silent, looking into the distance and at their intertwined hands. Then Laurent tilted his chin up and searched for Damen’s lips, demanding a kiss and then another one until he had somehow ended up in Damen’s lap with his hands all over him. 

When it came to Laurent, Damen wanted to take things slow, always. No matter how irresistible he found his lover, his burning desire couldn’t be stronger than his need to take proper care of Laurent. Young, inexperienced Laurent, whose secret Damen knew the confrontation with the Regent. Although the man was dead now, he had left traces, invisible ones on Laurent’s body. It was where the fear had come from, and the sadness. It was what Damen had seen in Laurent’s eyes the time he touched him in the baths so many months earlier without permission, what he had seen a different but no less real version of when Laurent had come to see him at night and climbed on top of him for the first time. 

Before he’d known what exactly it was, Damen had planned to get rid of it. To treat Laurent with care and tenderness until it would be gone, to kiss and touch and praise him over and over and over again until there would be nothing left to fear. To give up control to Laurent and let him be in charge, to be patient and take time. 

“Every part of you,” Damen whispered now, face against Laurent’s neck. He took his beautiful face in both hands and looked at him. He kissed his cheeks and the corner of his mouth and his forehead. “Every single part of you.” 

There was no getting rid of old wounds and trauma. There was no getting rid of the fear of a child that had been abused, not before said child had grown into a man and not after. There was only one thing. Loving the man. And loving the child. Protecting the both of them. 

“I love,” he said, firmly, needing Laurent to hear him. “I  _ love  _ every single part of you.” 

Laurent made a face that Damen had only seen very few times before and only when the two of them had been alone. It wasn’t an expression Laurent was used to making because it wasn’t one he wanted to show other people. It was sad and happy at the same time, heavy. It meant that his heart was full, and that there was pain among the good feelings too. It meant that he felt lucky, and that he could only feel that way because life had been unkind to him before. 

“Kiss me,” Laurent said. Damen couldn’t say no. He never could. This was Laurent, after all. 

Laurent was extremely good at making Damen forget things. Like the sunset he had intended to watch together while holding Laurent’s hand and listing all the things he loved about him. Like his plan to take things slow. Like the rest of the world. 

But who could blame him? Laurent was sitting in Damen’s lap and he looked almost angelic with the long dress scattered over Damen’s legs and the grass. He smelled like a thin layer of sweat on his skin and the wind and a home untethered from a place. His hands slid up Damen’s arms and over his shoulders to his neck, touching his jaw, cupping his face, gripping his hair. 

Laurent had missed him, but he had also missed touching him. He had missed kissing him, and that he could, he held Damen’s head where he wanted it and slid his tongue inside his mouth and pressed their bodies together. 

Damen wasn’t a selfish lover, never had been, but especially not with Laurent. He wanted to touch and worship until he could tell Laurent was falling apart in his hands but sometimes, like this time, he had to fight Laurent over it because Laurent wanted to do the same to him, and he had extremely convincing arguments. Damen kissed back and let his hands roam over Laurent’s body but in the end, he let Laurent push him down into the grass, arms pinned above his head. 

With one swift motion, because nothing ever looked like it was any effort when Laurent did it, Damen’s tunic was pulled open and resting loosely at either side of him, his trousers opened and pulled down far enough for Laurent to pull his cock out and give it a few strokes. Immediately, Damen threw his head back and moaned. He hadn’t been touched like this for too long. 

He wanted to push up, to hold Laurent in his arms and then lay him down and devour him, but Laurent’s lips on his neck felt too good and he had to enjoy them. Damen’s neck was a little bit ticklish and extremely sensitive and every kiss there made him squirm and lose his senses. 

“Laurent,” he groaned. 

Laurent paused and looked up. “I like it when you say my name.” Damen had known this the first time Laurent’s name had slipped past his lips by accident while his mind had been lost in his pleasure and Laurent hadn’t pulled back, hadn’t stopped. 

Seemingly determined to get Damen to forget himself again, and again, and then some more, Laurent wandered downwards, fingers tracing Damen’s ribs while his lips closed around one nipple, sucking at it. Damen was hard and leaking and running out of patience rapidly. He let one hand rest on Laurent’s head, feeling the soft hair against his palm, burying his fingers in it because he couldn’t help himself. 

Laurent seemed determined to wreck Damen. He looked up from time to time and grinned when he caught Damen’s eye only to then reattach his mouth to Damen’s skin. He sucked and nibbled at every inch of skin that he could reach, but steered clear of Damen’s cock for the time being, only riling him up until Damen’s back was arched and his ass lifted off the ground, his muscles tense and his whole being straining for touch. 

“Look at you,” Laurent smiled down at him. “Still not done being the good, gentle man who gives me all the time in the world and treats me right, are you?”

“You’re playing with my patience, Laurent.” 

Laurent giggles, then leans down and licks Damen’s cock from the base to the tip. “Am I?”

And he thought Laurent had been cruel before. Damen pressed his eyes shut and focused on his breathing, but just when he felt like he was regaining some of his fragile composure, Laurent’s mouth was on him again, tongue swirling around the head of his cock until he groaned, then it was removed and Laurent placed a little kiss there instead. 

“If you want me to throw you over my shoulder and carry you inside where I am going to rip your clothes off and bend you over, you are on a very, very good way to get what you want.” 

Again, Laurent smiled, gave Damen’s cock another lick and said, “Now you’re getting it.” 

Oh. Damen hadn’t thought Laurent was actually that serious about it. He hesitated for a second, pushing up and resting on his elbows, considering Laurent’s face. 

“I’m not made of glass, you know,” Laurent said. 

“I know.” Damen did know. Laurent was the bravest and strongest person he knew. He really was. “Come up here and kiss me.” 

Laurent crawled up above Damen and kissed him. Damen wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, and then he got up with Laurent still in his arms, kicking off the pants that were sliding down his legs anyway, shrugging off the tunic that was barely hanging from his shoulders, lifting Laurent up, not throwing him over his shoulder as he had threatened but rather holding him up with two hands under his thighs as Laurent wrapped his legs around Damen’s middle. 

It took a little longer than strictly necessary to find the entrance door to the little stable because they simply wouldn’t stop kissing, not even for a few seconds. Without looking, Damen spread out a blanket he’d brought on a bunch of straw. He didn’t actually plan to bend Laurent over, mostly because he didn’t intent to stop kissing his lips. Instead he lay down with Laurent on top of him, straddling him, positioning himself so that Damen’s cock was poking against his ass and then grinding down against it. 

Damen stopped, and then he hugged Laurent, who seemed a little surprised at first but melted into the embrace and hugged Damen back just as tightly. This was not just the best fuck of the rest of Damen’s life. 

“Are you scared?” Damen whispered into Laurent’s ear after a minute or so. 

“A little,” Laurent said before he pulled back a little so he could see Damen’s face. “Are you?” 

Damen nodded. This? It was big. It was what he’d wanted for a long time and at the same time it was what he would go on living without if Laurent decided so. 

“Damen,” Laurent whispered. “This one time, I want to be scared. If you are too. Let’s be a little scared together.” He reached for his little glass vial of oil and held it out to Damen. 

“Let’s be a little scared together,” Damen nodded, taking the vial from him. 

Damen tugged at Laurent’s trousers nervously, and when Laurent got up for just a moment to take them off, he felt young and inexperienced again. 

“Stop,” he said when Laurent started taking off the light blue dress as well. Now it was only loosened, revealing Laurent’s collarbone and a good part of his chest, parting at the front and merely held together by a ribbon around his waist. “Leave it on.” 

Damen got to his knees and touched Laurent’s legs beneath the fabric. He was lean but strong, muscles moving beneath smooth skin and a soft fuzz of light blond hair as Damen ‘s hands wandered from his ankles to his thighs. With only a light tug, Damen pulled the dress to the side and freed Laurent’s cock, taking it into his mouth, making Laurent jump and grip his hair.

This, Damen knew, had to be good. Not the best sex in the history of mankind, but good for Laurent. Saf, comfortable. He kissed his belly and his hipbones and his thighs, lapped at the tip of his cock and moaned quietly at the taste of Laurent’s pleasure. He cupped Laurent’s ass in both hands, dug his fingers into the flesh and rubbed his palm over the skin. 

Eventually, when Laurent got more and more restless, tugging at his hair and shifting on his twitching legs, Damen covered his hands in oil, looked up at Laurent, found teeth buried in Laurent’s lower lip and a flush on his cheeks and chest.

He pressed a kiss to Laurent’s belly and let his hands slide up his thighs again, over the curves of his ass, fingers dipping between the soft, round globes, eliciting a muffled noise from Laurent’s lips at the first touch of his entrance. Once Damen had covered his fingers and Laurent’s ass in more oil, he rubbed over it with increasing pressure, or at least he would have, had it been necessary. Actually, it was Laurent who did it, his jaw slack and his eyes closed, his grip tight in Damen’s hair, hips moving in a slow rhythm, heavy breaths escaping his parted lips. 

When Laurent started taking over that way, Damen considered holding him still, but it was perfect for Laurent to set the pace, that way Damen couldn’t do anything to him he didn’t want to. Damen was kneeling in front of him, offering his hands and fingers while mouthing along Laurent’s cock until Laurent reached back with one hand to spread himself open and looked down, clearly asking for more. 

Damen tapped one finger against his rim and took Laurent’s cock between his lips, holding his gaze. Laurent nodded, tugging at Damen’s hair. He pushed his cock a little further into Damen’s mouth, just an inch. Damen pressed his finger inside Laurent, also just an inch. Laurent didn’t look like he was in any discomfort. Damen circled his tip with his tongue.

The same way, they went on. Laurent set the pace, asking for more one bit at a time. Eventually, he was rocking his hips, thrusting his cock in and out of Damen’s mouth and Damen followed his rhythm with one finger at first before adding a second one, slowly working him open. 

Damen could tell Laurent was getting impatient, desperate, his legs wobbly even before he started whining and asking to lie down, but he knew this was the part where he needed to be thorough, because Damen’s cock was the opposite of small, and he wasn’t going to hurt Laurent with it. 

“My love,” he said, wrapping his free arm around Laurent’s wait to steady him. “Give me a few more moments.” 

Laurent nearly fell over when he had three fingers buried inside of him and started moving them in a steady rhythm, filling him up and stretching him. Now with both hands on Damen’s shoulders, Laurent was barely holding still anymore. When Damen crooked his fingers slightly, he had enough. 

Grabbing Damen’s face, he leaned down and kissed him, pushing Damen back towards the blanket that was spread out for them. Damen let himself be pushed onto his back. The dress slid off Laurent’s left shoulder as he climbed on top of him. Damen kissed the pale skin while Laurent reached for his cock and slicked it up with more oil, positioning himself directly above it. 

A part of Damen wanted to keep his face hidden against in the crook of Laurent’s neck, wanted to simply hold him for the rest of his life. But Laurent touched his cheek, and then his jaw, his chin, making him look up and into Laurent’s blue eyes. 

“Love me,” he said. 

And that, Damen had for a long time, so he kissed Laurent’s lips and wrapped and arm around him to steady him while Laurent lowered himself down onto his cock with quivering thighs. They kissed once for every day Damen had thought he already had everything he needed in his life before meeting Laurent. Once for every bad memory that had turned the odds against them. Once for every person in the two kingdoms who believed they didn’t belong together. Once for every loss they’d endured and survived. Once for every scar left on their bodies and souls. 

Slowly, Laurent sank down, engulfing Damen in his tight heat. He felt fantastic. Beautiful and breathtaking and absolutely fantastic. When he was entirely filled by Damen’s cock, a took a deep breath in and let it out with a little whimper. 

Damen loved him. With his lips on Laurent’s lips and his hands on his hips he loved him as Laurent slowly started to move, gripping Damen’s shoulders and searching for the right rhythm, mouth going slack every now and again in the middle of their kisses. 

Sliding his hands up Laurent’s thighs and guiding his hips, Damen loved him, marking up the side of his neck. Meeting Laurent’s movements as well as he could from underneath him, Damen loved him, pushing them both higher, pushing desperate little sounds out of Laurent. And then, a not so little one. Not so quiet anymore. A full on moan, loud and clear as Damen thrust up. 

At last, Laurent had lost his composure entirely, and so had Damen. He pushed himself up and rolled them over, laying Laurent down on his back and spreading his legs, pushing them up and over his shoulders, sliding back inside him, watching as Laurent’s mouth fell open and then kissing it. 

He loved him, relentlessly, one hard, deep thrust after the other, every single one of them paired with a kiss, with a whispered love confession, a word of praise, a thumb caressing Laurent’s pink cheek. 

Laurent loved him back, with his fingers clawing at Damen’s lower back, pulling and pushing. Damen didn’t want to think of anything else but the beauty that was Laurent’s contorted face, but he forced himself to do it anyway, if only to drag out their pleasure a little more before combusting. 

Laurent lost control over his features and the sounds escaping his mouth, among them various versions of Damen’s name. He lost control over the muscles in his legs, and with his fingernails he probably added a few more scars to Damen’s back before he started shaking and finally came, shooting his release with every one of Damen’s last few thrusts inside him. 

As slowly as he was able to, Damen eased out of him, holding Laurent in his arms, his own cock caged between his stomach and Laurent’s thigh, a few rocking movements of his hips enough to have him come undone as well. 

Damen gave himself a few moments to catch his breath and simply lie on top of Laurent, but then he got up and helped Laurent lower his weak legs, smiling at his complaint. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Nowhere,” Damen replied. “Just taking care of you.” 

“I don’t think I can go again,” Laurent said sleepily. “I don’t think I can move.” 

“Not like that,” Damen smiled down at him, pulling the dress out of the way and emptying the glass vial by pouring the rest of the oil over his hands and Laurent’s stomach before starting to rub it into his skin. “I just don’t want you to fall asleep now and wake up later with your whole body aching.” 

Laurent forces his eyes open, searching for words as he looks at Damen. “You’re too good to me, you know that, right? You always have been.”

Damen shakes his head. They can talk about being good and honorable tomorrow when they have to be kings again. “That’s not-” 

“Different,” Laurent interrupts him. “I always thought the whole world was cruel and my life was my attempt to survive it for as long as possible. But you’re different. You love me.” 

“You’re different too, Laurent. And the world will be as well when we’re done with it.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and/or comments make my day. You may yell at me in whatever language you want to. 
> 
> Feedback is welcome, just don't point out flaws in canon compliance. Sometimes canon must be bent for the sake of a story. 
> 
> I will probably post more of this soon, so hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Also come talk to me on [tumblr.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/flyde)


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